Today, I have time to share something. Yey! My husband had to drop me so early to work 7;45am even my shift is 12pm. You see it right! But Why? Because we only have one car, okay, that is not actually the best excuse. The truth is I don’t drive.
While typing that… I could hear you people saying “Girl, you should learn how to drive, you need to, for you and for ZOey” It is a necessity in Aruba.
I got it! I got it!
My fear. My fear hinders me to do it!
But I also know I have to face it. I have always been scared at everything, I guess. The only time I remember that I was confident was when I was pregnant with Zoey. And brave when I push her down there into this world. It was definitely the most beautiful season of my life. 🙂 Thank you, Jesus for the experience, for my baby.
But I still want to feel it again,to be brave, to be confident. Should I get pregnant again? HAHAH OF course not, my husband wants another one, though. He thinks that it would be great if Zoey has sibling to play with. And, I think I would have one again when this pandemic is over. And he’s like “Would this even be over?’
Yesterday, we went to the beach! Yey! We don’t actually plan it, we do this spontaneously. “Oh today the weather is great (Which is almost everyday) Let’s go to the beach.
So we prepared and grabbed our things quickly and went to the beach. Zoey kind of knows that we are going out, she’s happy. When we were in the parking lot, funny thing, my stomach was weird. (Oh gosh! not today!) The nature calls, we need to go back home. Brandon, my husband was okay with it and turned the engine back on. Poor Zoey cried, and kept saying “NO, No, NO!”
I had to explain, “Zoey baby, mommy needs to go home first and we will go back okay?” Struggling to say these word because my stomach was acting really weird. Oh okay.. too much info? Sorry. HAHA
The point is, Zoey’s emotion amazes me. She’s 18 months and she knows what she wants. She’s outgoing, she would say “EEETTT GO (Let’s go) and would go to the door telling us to open it. Which I think she got that from me. I remember my younger years, I would spend my day outside with my friends. Lola Nena, my grandma gets mad at me and would say kababae mong Tao Hindi ka napipirmi sa bahay. It means that I am a lady, and I should stay home most of the time? Something like that.
HAHA I miss Lola, I know you’re happy there in heaven. 🙂 How I wish you could see Zoey now.
Going back back to this island quick getaway. Here’s my baby! My boss baby! 🙂
Did mommy see me eating the sand? Oh no! -Zoey
Be confident
So, today, let me brave and confident! Showing off my bloated body. HAHA
One thing I realized, our body doesn’t define us. HAHA Whatever, tapping my shoulder, saying, It’s okay to be bloated! 🙂
I may have flaws, insecurities, and fears in life, but these things shouldn’t stop me from loving who and what I am. I don’t even know if these thing will even stop but whenever I feel it, God taught me on how to handle it.
I am perfectly imperfect but perfectly loved by God. And that’s all that matters.
I am grateful that whenever the enemy will try to mess with my head, instilling lies like “You are not good enough” ‘You are a failure” “You won’t ever measure up” etc. , I would run to the TRUTH. That God has created me fearfully and wonderfully.
My life story is HIS story.
I have flaws, I still have stretch marks, cellulites. I have weaknesses. I am insecure at times. I don’t drive. I am scared.. all the time. I finished studies but I am not using that field. I am scared to step up and try other things. Thinking I am not good enough.
I am not ashamed telling these things because it’s real. Actually, makes me brave and confident that even though I have these negative feelings, I know that one day, I would step up and be the person God wants me to be.
I would be patient with myself because God is. One step at time.
For now, I just want to be grateful that I have Zoey, Brandon, family and friends who genuinely support me. And also, that we are all healthy. Thank God for life.
Who really makes me brave? It’s definitely not the position and stability in life. It’s Jesus, it’s HIM. That whatever happens in this world, I am confident that God would never ever leave me nor forsake me. Till the end of time… It also means that HE loves everything about me. I don’t really need to be someone else but be who I really am.
It was truly a fun family day! Though it’s quick, that’s all I need, we need to be reminded that Life is indeed beautiful. ME too! HAHA
Enjoy yourself, enjoy your life, enjoy your journey.
Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to drink your coffee!
