It is not bad to have standards in choosing or finding the so-called Mr.Right But one should remember that there is no such thing as perfect people. I’ve seen and heard a lot of posts, articles, video blogs about finding the one, knowing if he/she is the one. Most of the ladies enumerate those things that they are almost to perfection.
Honestly, I don’t believe they exist, but what I believe in is…True Love does exist and love conquers all.
I think women have the thoughts of having a man that will really treat them very well, especially if you are one of those who watch Kdrama like me. It’s fairytale-like stories, you know? They don’t exist. There is no perfect one. We are all unique.
To be fair to men, they are also human. We all have issues in ourselves, attitudes need to be changed and characters to develop. Why are you looking for a perfect one if you yourself aren’t one? Have you thought about making yourself ready for a relationship by learning to love yourself, learning the love languages, adjusting to temperaments? Have you ever think that we have to change some behaviors as well?
“Find someone who accepts and loves you for who you are”.
We see this in social media phrases about the “find someone…” Cliche. Here’s the question, do you accept yourself? Do you love yourself? There will be big trouble in a relationship if you have this issue. A person who doesn’t love himself/herself will soon have a problem with loving someone. If you don’t deal with your own insecurities well, you’ll soon break his heart and yours.
I am imperfect neither my relationship with him but what I can share and boast about is how the Lord deals with us, deal with our hearts and issues. We do fight, argue, we disappoint each other just like every couple does. Because we are imperfect.
Being in a relationship with Brandon for a quite few years now, I can really say God has shown me so much about myself. A few years ago, during the times I was looking down on myself, I wanted him to understand me all the time, to be with me, to exert more effort to make me feel better, and feel loved.
I was struggling with depression so I only see the need in me, it was all about me. I can only see how pitiful I am, I never thought how others are suffering because of me… me… me! So here’s your low self-esteem and lack of confidence that makes you threaten him to just simply leave you and find someone else.
Drama.
Men are human too.
You know if he will, you’ll be really broken. Likewise, your partner has feelings too. You are not the only one hurting. He may not talk about it but I realized that I was giving him a headache, I was breaking his heart to seeing me like that. Instead of appreciating him, I was pushing him away. He never said he was tired of me. But I came to realize that he is also human, he also feels frustrated, down, and sad. He can also feel depressed especially men aren’t always open about how they feel.
Ladies, learn to appreciate your man.
I really feel bad for men being controlled by their partners. I was talking with my fiance last night and I’m kinda proud of him and myself, we have learned to respect each others’ feelings and privacy. Believe it or not, I never browse his cellphone and check whoever he is talking with, I never asked his passwords on his social media accounts. My mindset is if you will do something crazy, if you will cheat on me or vice versa, we are both accountable to God.
We have learned to be patient with each other’s weaknesses and personalities. We didn’t try to change each other but to learn to love whoever we are just like how God loves us. Yes, we all have annoying characters, but we have been blessed with the wisdom to deal with it personally with the Lord.
Because we all know we cannot change someone. We are not God. Let God deal with it. The only thing you can do is to pray for him/her. If we understand God’s unconditional love for us, we tend to love others the same way. There is no perfect one but there is a right way of loving someone.
I know some of you will see this and say “wait until you get married”. I know, I understand, marriage life is different and is not easy. But if the Lord had taught us to be like this while just being engaged, I know he will help us through when we face the married life.
So no fear, no fear in LOVE. I am not judging the couples who never get through it, we all have different stories but what I want to say and see that there will still be people who are braver to accept that we are all learning, imperfect, and be open to all the changes.
Ladies, we are not always right. Give your man the authority to be the head. Learn to submit. Easier said than done, huh? But there is no harm in trying.
I understand we have this kind of character that we always want to be right. We can still do that sometimes but for major decisions and issues, let your man be the man in the relationship.
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This been in my draft for maybe 3 or 4 years now. While trying to clean it up a little bit. I landed on this one. I hope it’s worth sharing. 🙂
